My Son Didn’t Change. I Did.
A few years ago, I noticed my son and I were bumping heads often. We were miscommunicating, and I could feel him distancing.
I realized that, even from a place of care, I was approaching conversations as if I needed to “correct” or “guide” him, rather than simply love him as he was.
My intentions were coming through as judgment. It wasn’t my words, it was the energy behind them.
So I shifted. I began noticing what he was doing right and expressing genuine appreciation. I paused before offering advice unless he asked for it.
I started speaking from belief in who he already was, rather than who I thought he should become.
Over time, our connection transformed, not because he changed, but because I did.
Love expanded where pressure and distance once lived. And he began to fly, no longer weighed down by correction.
The way we love can either clip someone’s wings or help them take flight.
The Invitation This Season
The holidays are often painted as a time of cozy lights, joy, and closeness, yet for many of us, they also illuminate the subtle tension in relationships we care deeply about.
This season invites us to pause, not just in celebration, but in awareness.
One of the principles I’ve been sharing with my Root and Rise community is this:
Love isn’t something we search for; it’s something we practice.
Not everyone will express love the way we do. Not everyone will meet us exactly where we wish they would. But we always have a choice in how we show up.
And often, when the dynamic feels “off,” it just takes one person leaning more consciously into love to shift the energy.
During the holidays, may we choose to be the wind beneath, not the force against.
Holiday Heart Practice
Before entering a room, conversation, or gathering, pause and ask:
“What quality of love do I choose to bring into this moment?”
(Compassion? Patience? Presence? Acceptance? Soft courage?)
And if a moment triggers you, breathe into this:
“I choose connection over being right. I respond from love’s frequency.”
Closing Intention
If this resonates, here’s a simple intention for your relationships you can carry through the season:
“This season, I honor who you are, not who I wish you would be. I offer love that expands wings, not fear that clips them.”
