“The Law of Non-Resistance helps us move through grief.”
— edna castillo
Leaning Into Loss
This month, I’ve been in the tender grip of grief.
On Wednesday, May 28th, my beloved Arbi—my four-legged companion of nearly 10 years—crossed the rainbow bridge. Just days later, I received the news that one of the women in a cancer support group I facilitate also made her transition.
Two losses, deeply felt. Two souls who touched my heart in different, profound ways.
The Gift I Didn’t Want
When I first began serving the cancer community, one of my biggest hesitations was exactly this: loss. I wondered if I’d be strong enough to stay open, knowing goodbyes might come sooner than I’d want.
But the truth is, grief isn’t just about letting go. It’s about letting love lead—again and again.
And I’m learning something I’ve learned before, in another form: the pain of resistance is greater than the pain of surrender.
There’s a part of me that wants to push the feelings away. To not go there. But when I resist my emotions, it only amplifies the ache. When I soften into the sadness, I find something else underneath it:
Presence. Beauty. Deep, radiant love.
The Law of Non-Resistance
There’s a spiritual principle I return to often: the Law of Non-Resistance.
Raymond Holliwell, in Working with the Law, says:
“If we go through life fighting, opposing, resisting, arguing, we are bound to meet with obstacles and likely become so occupied fighting them that we lose sight of our real objective.”
I lived this truth during my own cancer journey. I knew that resisting the illness would only create more suffering—so I chose to meet it with curiosity, compassion, and surrender.
Now, I’m remembering that grief works the same way. It comes in waves. And if we let those waves wash over us, instead of bracing against them, something beautiful happens:
We begin to see that even our pain can be sacred. Even our sorrow can be a teacher.
An invitation to Feel
If you’re navigating a hard season right now—a diagnosis, a divorce, a job loss, or just the heaviness of being human—know this:
You don’t have to fight it. You can feel it. And that’s not weakness—it’s wisdom.
You have the gift of free will in how you move through this moment. You can meet it with resistance… or with grace. One keeps you stuck. The other opens you to healing, growth, and transformation.
I spoke more about this in a recent Facebook Live, because the feelings were too strong to hold alone.
Let it be a gentle reminder: You’re not alone either.
With love,
Edna
