Have you ever caught yourself asking, “How are you?” but not really listening for the answer? With the holidays upon us, it’s the perfect time to pause and reflect. Are your interactions with loved ones transformational or just transactional?
Transformational vs. Transactional Relationships
A transactional relationship feels surface-level and routine. We ask questions out of habit, nod politely, and go through the motions. These exchanges lack depth and leave us feeling unfulfilled. Even with those we care about most, we may fall into patterns of auto-pilot interactions.
In contrast, a transformational relationship invites real connection. It’s when you are fully present, listen with genuine curiosity, and seek to understand the other person’s heart, not just their words. These moments leave a lasting imprint, making us feel valued and truly seen.
Why Transformational Connections Matter
As Maya Angelou so beautifully said, “People will never forget how you made them feel.”
Think back to the most meaningful interactions you’ve had. Chances are, it wasn’t the exact words spoken but the feeling of connection that stayed with you. Transformational relationships go beyond words; they are about presence, compassion, and love.
When you show up fully, you create trust and deepen bonds. These moments ripple outward, positively shaping your relationships and the world around you.
A Personal Reflection
When I first met my mentor, Mary Morrissey, I was struck by her ability to connect deeply with everyone she encountered. Despite her full schedule and public presence, she had an amazing way of making everyone feel like they were the only ones in the room.
Even my husband noticed it. He said, “It felt like she truly cared about me—like she wasn’t in a rush to move on.” That kind of presence stays with you.
It reminded me of my great aunt, a woman I’ve admired for her natural gift of connection. Both Mary and my aunt shared a common thread: they saw people in their best light, free of judgment, and met them with love.
Their example inspires me to behave differently in my relationships. It’s not always easy, but it is a work in progress and worthwhile.
How You Can Create Transformational Connections
If you’re ready to deepen your relationships this holiday season, here are three simple practices to start:
- Listen with Intention. Instead of planning your response, focus entirely on what the other person is saying. Notice their expressions, their tone, and what they’re truly trying to communicate.
- Shift Your Perspective. When interacting with someone difficult, imagine them at their best. Approach with curiosity rather than judgment, and you might be surprised by the connection that emerges.
- Be Fully Present. At your next gathering, put your phone away and resist distractions. Focus on the moment and the people in front of you.
An Invitation to Transform
Let’s do this! Join me in creating transformational relationships. Please share this blog with someone you’d like to reconnect with on a deeper level and ask them to join you in practicing these steps.
One of my dreams is to shift the world toward peace, love, and joy. By committing to these practices and inviting others to do the same, you are becoming part of this movement—a light in a time of division and chaos.
Let’s make this time the beginning of something extraordinary. Start with one person, one conversation, and one moment of true connection.
Remember, every meaningful connection you create becomes a light that brightens someone else’s world.
Thank you for being the light, and for sharing this journey with me.
