Polish Your Diamond in the Rough

by | May 4, 2022 | 0 comments

A Diamond in the Rough

Committing to a proactive practice for growth is something I consciously started after my divorce in the late 90s. I’d experienced unmet expectations from my marriage, and its failure caused an unquenchable thirst for answers.

I was no longer satisfied being a bystander or victim to life’s situations, I wanted to actively participate because I wanted more – to know more, to feel more, to be more. The way I would think about it was by using the analogy of an unpolished diamond. I was a diamond in the rough, and by the practices, experiences, and challenges of life, I would eventually become a shining glowing diamond.

The Agreements

One of the first books I read and practiced was The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. This book reveals the ancient Toltec code of four pillars for a transformed happy life.

The first agreement of the four is “Be Impeccable with your word.” This principle is about consciously making an agreement to use the power of your word for the good.

Becoming Impeccable

What does it mean to be impeccable with your words? Simply, live a life of integrity in the use of your word. When you say you are going to do something, do it. Only speak words of truth. Do not speak against yourself or others.

Think of a time you were disappointed because someone you trusted failed to keep their word. Perhaps it led to your broken heart and changed the dynamic of your relationship. Words can build or destroy.

Avoid Suffering

One time of misuse of your word can lead to a lifetime of craving un-dos or re-dos. Why not become impeccable with your word always. It will save you grief and suffering.

You also cause suffering by speaking against yourself. You are accustomed to listening to the voice in your head’s negative talk about what you can do, what you deserve, and what you believe about yourself.

Limiting Beliefs

Those limiting beliefs then carry over to your actual words of put-downs and shaming. Anytime you tell yourself or other people “I am not good at something.” “I don’t think I can become an XYZ because I am not smart/ pretty/ thin/ tall enough” you are affirming those limiting ideas, and you are working against your growth and success. Your relationship with your Self is lacking love.

Misleading Bond

Likewise, when you speak against others (gossiping) you are also not loving yourself. It may appear that gossiping creates a bond with the person you are talking to. By sharing your disapproval or judgment about a third party, you seem to find common ground. Instead, you are working against yourself because you are building mistrust between yourself.

Recall a time when someone was gossiping with you about someone else. You may have had the experience of thinking – “hmm, if that is what she says about that person when she is not around, I wonder what she says about me when I am not around?”

This is a sneaky habit that is easy to fall prey to until you make a conscious effort to notice the times you do it. You can become better at not falling into the trap and instead lean on being a person who uplifts, inspires, and has constructive conversations with others, making them about praise and love, not about judgment or blame.

In the bible, John 1:1 states, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” This verse speaks about the power of the Word; it can destroy or uplift. The damage that it causes by its misuse can ruin lives. And the inspiration, support, and strength it can provide can change lives for the better.

Invitation to Lifework . . .

 

This week, I invite you to practice his agreement.

Practice being impeccable with your word and build a bond of love everywhere you go. Know that this will be a lifelong practice, and the goal is to align more and more with the agreement. By starting you can become better at it daily. The wonderful thing is that one practice will lead to the next, and then the next, and soon you are on your way to seeing the rough diamond in you shine.

Be Empowered & Inspired

Set your intention to use your word to uplift and empower you and others.

1. Examine the limiting beliefs you have and how you affirm them with your words. For example, “I am not good at XYZ, I will never be able to XYZ”, I don’t have any luck, I am always getting myself in these situations.”

2. Decide that these statements are not true, they were placed in your head as a belief, and you are no longer affirming it. You can decide to discontinue feeding these thoughts. By you doing this, you are disarming the limiting voice. You neutralize the thought and replace it with a more encouraging thought.

3. Replace the limiting belief with something positive you would like to believe about yourself. “I am smart, I am beautiful, I am successful.” Initially, you may not believe these statements, and the point is that you are setting down a new track of thought that you want to nurture.

Empower & Inspire

1. Set the intention and pay attention to times when you tend to be judgmental or blame others.

2. Decide to stay silent if the urge or habit to gossip arises. The saying goes – “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” Right?

3. Embrace opportunities to uplift and empower others by speaking words of praise, and encouragement.

My reminder to you is always, to be kind and give yourself grace when you see times when you may have declined to live up to your expectations. This is part of the work; the opportunity comes when you notice, and you can once again be on your way to the person you are Becoming.

For a recorded version of this post, click here

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This