It’s annoying; lets deal with it

If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?

—  Rumi, 1207-1273, Persian mystic & poet

Annoying Situations:

If you are anything like me, you hate being annoyed. You don’t like what happened; perhaps someone did or said something that upset you or broke boundaries. You wish it didn’t happen because now you have to figure out how to deal with it.

We all experience this sometimes, and how we deal with it matters. When annoyance comes up, there are different ways you might react. Some people walk away from the problem. Others get upset and make up stories in their heads about what happened. And then, some people face the annoyance directly and try to solve it. Sometimes not in the best-skilled manner.

Processing Annoyance:

I’ve tried all these approaches.  There was a time when I used to get annoyed and let it ruin my day. I would be annoyed for being annoyed. Other times, I’d feel like a victim and stay stuck in that feeling. And sometimes, I’d react without thinking, which didn’t show me in the best light.

Just last week, I was annoyed with a family member for not including me in something I was supposed to be part of. At first, I felt angry and disappointed, and then I started judging them. It didn’t help that I learned about it from someone upset but didn’t speak up. These are common feelings when our ego is involved.

Doing a spiritual bypass on your feeling and ignoring them is not the answer. We don’t want to be angry, or disappointed, or judge, but noticing them and discovering why you feel this way helps transform how you feel. You don’t take action from the feelings because how we deal with them can affect our relationships.

Dealing with Annoyance:

So for me, instead of staying in the negative emotion, I expressed my feelings and shared my expectations.

When voicing it, I stuck to the facts to avoid more drama. But guess what – I could have still communicated it better. And I learned that from the response I received. I’m always learning and growing,

Like Albert Einstein once said, “Failure is success in progress.” When we don’t do something perfectly, we can learn from it on our way to improving. We learn to succeed by being aware of where we can improve.

The important thing is to keep growing and learning. Sometimes, being annoyed or hurt happens because we’re unsure what we want. If we don’t know what we want from others or life, it’s hard to tell others about it.

Learning from Annoyance:

There are times you may have experienced feeling annoyed at someone, and they were ignorant of how you felt. It’s all part of understanding yourself and being transparent with others about what you expect.

I once had a roommate who brought unexpected guests to our home. When I realized I was annoyed because I felt unsafe because of strangers in our house, I talked to her about it. But first, I had to figure out why her behavior bothered me.

Sometimes, we must dig deep into our feelings to explain our needs instead of ignoring them. We build healthier relationships when we are clear on who we are and what we want and communicate that with others.

Creating the Life you Love:

It’s tough to let others know what you expect when you’re unsure what you want. It’s like being a ship without a map in the sea, not heading toward the life you want.

To discover your destination, it is important to find the clarity. I have the best workshop to hel you do that. Go to my Events page and register. It will help you assess your relationships, life results and discover what you want. This is an excellent opportunity to find clarity and set a course for the life you want. 

Reserve the date on your calendar. I hope to see you there!