Stop Beating Yourself Up

Critical Thoughts

Last week I attended a meeting where I had to do a short presentation. I put effort into it. I had a power point presentation that I practiced.

Halfway through the meeting, I started doubting myself. I wondered if my presentation would resonate with the audience.

Well, the presentation did not go as I expected. From my perspective, I thought I rushed through it and didn’t think I connected with my audience.

So, the thoughts were playing in my head about how it could have been better. Shaming myself for not presenting as I had done in my practice run. A bunch of self-defeating thoughts popped into my head.

I started to beat myself up.

Flipped My Thinking

As a coach, I know better and am on constant guard of what I am thinking. So, I said, “Stop!” And then I started to talk to myself about how everything was perfect. There is perfection in all we do. Whether flawed or great, what we do with the situation matters.

In Shakespeare’s Hamlet, a line says, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

My thinking was making it bad based on my expectation always to do my best. No one in the meeting knew that my presentation could have been better.

How about you? When something doesn’t go as expected, do you tend to overthink it? Play it in your head repeatedly as if that would make it better.

Is there an area in your life where you are beating yourself up? Is there actual evidence that you fell short?

In my case, evidence indicated that I did not fall short. A couple of people asked me questions after the meeting. That means I did connect with my audience.

We also tend to ignore the positives that come from a situation. At times it is easy to ignore the good and keep harping on what I could have done better.

Stop Beating Yourself Up

It is important to stop yourself when you notice thoughts of self-defeat. Even in cases when you may have fallen short. It happens to everyone. Remember that nothing is good or bad, but what you’re thinking that makes it so.

When failure happens, it’s what we do with it that matters. The best thing you can do is recognize it, see what you can learn and how you can improve, and move on as quickly as possible.

Do not replay it in your head as a broken record. What we focus on grows, and by focusing on it, you will find even more wrong with the situation.

And when you are in the energy of defeat, it will attract more things that can go wrong.

Shake it off. Do something that gets you off the frequency of the failure. If you don’t have a success list, this is a good time to build one and put your energy into everything you’ve done well.

The self-defeating thoughts sabotage your success. Your self-esteem has an impact on your self-confidence.

Get in the business of building up your self-image. Building your self-image is like building muscle. The more you do it, the more toned you get seeing your greatness.

It’s about creating an attitude of love and appreciation for yourself.

Believing in You!